Theme Song ['o-day]…

Alright.

I’m wrestling with a beast currently. Indifference, ambivalence, impatience, fear and rejection all rolled into one.

And what strikes me about this is that I have no idea how to deal with it. And the fact that I don’t know is what scares me the most… Because I’m not 100% bothered by it.

I’ve been told by a friend that maybe I’m just getting used to how things really are… But isn’t getting used to something like that detrimental to the spirit?

Am I on my way to becoming a loveless, spiritless drone?

So, as my heart races in response to these questions, my brain lies dormant – unaffected by what I’m feeling.

Then this song popped into my head…

Now…?

I don’t know.

I hate this.

 

(>-).

thriving local talent…

Hi yall!

I had promised to blog and show this off during the time I was blogging about Her Love’s Demise – and I forgot. However! I came across it again just now and decided to blog right away. :)

As you know, mizz Erin Kellam is quite talented. Exceptionally talented. Amazing. Yes. If you have no idea, like I said, you’ve no hope [or you just don't read my blog enough]. Well, she has created a mini creation in the name of her photography operation, Scarletta Photography.

It’s a web banner, and I urge anyone that reads this, and knows somewhere they can post this banner to take it and do so. [duly note that she works out of hamilton so it may be more convenient for those of you local readers].

SPREAD THE WORD! The link to the site is attached to the photo, but for those who need it: READ THE BANNER! :P

(>-) & <3. << think that first one works as a peace sign??<<

 

is this peace [or is this numb] ?

G’morning. :)

I’m in a strange place emotionally today. I’ve had somewhat of a disappointing start to the week for numerous reasons:

• my project was done and polished to the 9s, and my excitement was met with indifference [in class] when I decided to show it off
• I was forced to relinquish my cellphone. No more convenience of communication for a long time until I can afford it. And,
• I just don’t feel good at home anymore…

So, we’ve already discussed what my issues were with Monday’s class when our projects were [barely] presented. I’m pretty much over it now, I know how well we [erin and i] did and I know how awesome it looks now that it’s complete. And I also know there’s no possible way that I can fail. That’s a given. So I’m ok with that. I’m at peace with that.

My cellphone was given to me for my birthday. Given. To me. This year. I’ve had reasons as to why I’m not working [if i work, the student loan agency will reassess what they're giving me now - which is bare min - and take a large chunk out of it... they've done this before while i was attending brock... so i'm just learning from the past..]… so I wasn’t able to afford even the cheapest of phone plans. My aunt offered to keep it up for me, and considering I only ever used texting, there was no fear that I’d ever go over the assigned air time. Last month, I was notified by way of my sister that the deal was coming to a close and that my aunt was no longer able to help me. So I’ve been scrambling to figure out an alternative since, and ran out of time. Here’s my issue: the phone was given to me as a gift. A gift. I understand the inability to help me with the bill, so could we not then just cut off the service? Why did I have to give the physical phone back, when I could’ve used it through some other service?

I decided not to argue or question their intentions. I don’t really have much room to move around at home, so I wasn’t about to bring any confrontations upon myself.

So now I have no phone. I rely on texting to keep in touch with people when a computer or internet are not available [which, mind you, is far often than you'd think].

I must admit, today, leaving [waaaay] early for class without seeing the parentals – and knowing they can’t directly contact me to scold me for whatever – is freeing. I feel good. I can’t really have my day altered by their negativity – that is, until I get home.

Now, I know – it’s not entirely their fault. After all, I am the one running right? [which leads me to the next bullet]

This is how I deal with constant confrontation. I just don’t come around anymore. Which is simple right? But when it’s with your parents – and you’re still living at home – conflicts become inevitable. My parents love me – I’m aware of this. And, I love them too – undeniably. But everything that’s happened since I’ve moved back home points to only one conclusion – we – as two separate parties would benefit far more from a bit of distance. We were closer when I was away, and we got along.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like my welcome home has been revoked. Silent treatments. Sporadic yelling fits and power trips. A blatant disregard for my career choice and intentions [despite being asked a few days ago what I was up to in school... which was shocking to me but deeply appreciated more than i believe she'll ever know]. Siblings have changed… And it’s beginning to feel like people are picking sides or teams. But I digress – I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m just feel conflicted about it. I don’t know how to feel about it..

I guess that’s where the peace turns into numb… right?

It’s such a strange feeling. I woke up today and I felt content. Not happy. Not sad or depressed. Just impartial. I was confident in how I looked today [i assess how i look on a daily basis, and it's not usually positive], and I just felt ok.

I’m not sure if this is an implication of how I should approach future situations, but I don’t feel much today,and despite that, I’m not bothered by it. I’m also more aware today of the strong love energy I receive from certain people I do keep around me – and that’s more comfort than I could ever imagine receiving right now…

Anyway — I’ve been thinking of my creative life, and I think I’m reconsidering doing the short movie to go with Her Love’s Demise. It may just be something for me, or it might turn out better than I’m anticipating and I’ll share it with you all. I’m writing my ideas out as I go – so we’ll see how it all ends up.

I think that’s all I needed to get off of my chest for now. Haha. I’m just going to coast for the rest of the day.

PEACE&<3.

Theme Song ['o-day]…

Morning.

Pretty bogus beginning to the week. On to day 2.

I’ll explain eventually. Listen to this for now.

 

LOVE.

…the verdict?

“Meh…”

Well, mayhaps not in so few words, but the teacher [if i can even consider him such?] in his sarcastic demeanour snorted that I’d get something like a C+ [can you hear me scoffing from here?] and that it “must be nice to have someone take photos for you.” Now look. I don’t know if that meant that he felt my efforts were unjust or dishonest, but he can warm his lips up on my ass for even insinuating such a thing.

I’m disappointed.

But to be honest, I was probably the only one that was hyped up for that moment more than anyone [but i'm sure there was a few other people who were kind of stoked...right?]… so I’m probably only disappointed because of me. Ha.

I miss the days of critiques. I miss Brock and the whole art school aura. :(

I miss people actually speaking LOGICALLY and COHERENTLY in a classroom setting. I’m sure it’s apart of his sick humour, but he decided to criticize anyone who used photography [asking who was behind the camera, etc, etc.] but gloss over those who ripped images off the internet and so on with comments like “this is good!” or “good job.”

Mmmkay.

Well, I’m at least confident that I’ll get a fantastic mark. If I don’t, he’ll be sure to hear from me.

Most anti-climatic art moment of my life. [aside from seeing a jeff koons piece]

Ugh.

I’m just glad the day is over. Yeup. Still hate Monday’s.

 

<3.

Her Love’s Demise [now playing]…

Good morning all.

Welp… the project is finished! I must say, I haven’t had this much fun working on a project in a very long time. Everything went off [nearly] without a hitch!

Erin – what more can I say about this woman. Her eye and her talent for framing and imaging and editing… Holy shit, people. If you really haven’t given her work a look by now, you’re clearly a lost cause.

[did i mention how much fun the shoot was?]

So – being that we’ve all been on a no-FUNds budget lately, I only had one tube of fake blood left over from this past Halloween [in fact, i'm sure i only was able to afford one this year lol], so in order to get the gore we were looking for [prior to photoshopping], Erin gave me a tip, and proceeded to add maple syrup to the mix [avec pig's heart, mind you] to add to the viscosity we were trying to achieve.

And it worked.

But.

Man was I sticky when we were done. Sticky and cold. Ha. The whole time, Erin had to remind me “This is for ART!” And I should admit – those kind of reminders really help when you’re unsure about what you’re creating.

And I’ve been really intimidated by the project, from the birth of the thought, right through the conception of the idea…

And I love the outcome. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to go against my fear [of acceptance] this adamantly before. And I have to thank my bestest of friends for pushing me the way they have… [love you. :) ]

So I have Erin to thank a lot – and all of you out there for supporting me with what little you’ve seen so far… It means universes and galaxies to me to know that my art is being appreciated and observed outside of myself [and a chosen 1 or 2 :) ].

I’m in my first class of the day today, and the nerves of releasing the project later on in my 3rd class have already made themselves comfortable in my throat. But I’m just going to wash it down with coffee and hope for the best.

Like I’ve said before – the classroom dynamic here in this program isn’t up to par with an art school setting, so I know a lot of the reaction will be from the standpoint of non-artists. Which is something I’ll just have to get used to – especially as an artist. But I feel good about it…

[so, i guess yall wanna see it, right?]

Well, ok. :)
The images are watermarked for obvious reasons – I think I’ll have to do that to all my work eventually, but whatever. Haha.

[:ahem:] Alright people. Here it is.

This is, Her Love’s Demise – by me [with loads of awesome help from Erin Kellam]

Well folks – there it is. In all it’s bold, [semi-]gory glory. [haha, good morning!] Comment here on the blog please – let me know that my madness isn’t in vain! Seriously though – comment, what are your thoughts?!?

I know, I had planned on a second part to this project. As of last night, that part was kiboshed and no more. However, I’m thinking of doing a strictly web version of a short film component to go with what you’ve just seen… I’ll keep you all up on updates, of course. :)

Wish me luck!

<3.

it’s coming…

©2009 Samille Janelle & Scarletta Photography

The project is nearing completion…

Stay tuned.

 

<3.

whispers of [potential] genius[?]

Mornin’!

So I’ve been working on this project for my Sequential Art Practices class for a few days now [which really should've been weeks]. The premise of the assignment was to tell a story in 20 panels or more. I’m assuming that he wants the final product to resemble something similar to a comic strip or story book? Anyway, I’ve gone with the comic strip theme, and chose the premise of a broken heart as my topic.

But I want this to be different.

I want gore. Lots of bloody gore.

This ain’t no highschool broken-hearted BS. Ha.

I thought I’d exaggerate the notion of a broken heart and chronicle what I think a broken heart feels like [after experiencing such a phenomenon many times].  And the most I can tell you now [because it's in post-production/editing phases] is this: pig hearts are incredibly similar to that of a human. Wow.

I should also mention that the lovely Ms. Erin of Scarletta Photography has graced me with her talent for this!!! I find this to be the most exciting part of the project, she honestly up’d the hell out of the ante on this one, folks. Seriously. Here’s a sneek peek at what to look out for:

"Zombie's Revenge" ©2009

 

Some of the photos from the shoot will be fit for Erin’s portfolio, such as this one, which she titled “Zombie’s Revenge”. Fucking. Rad.

To add to this madness that is this project [i know i'm not revealing too much right now my lovelies, but you'll see the project in its entirety by monday - stay tuned...] I’ve decided to add a short film component to it all. It won’t take long, as it’ll take the form of a stop-motion/picture slide-show type animation. I’ll be using all the photos from the shoot but it’ll be in motion to compliment the strip I’ll be handing in with it. :)

Things are looking up, and I’ve really been able to invest what I’ve been feeling lately into this project. So I feel great, because all that negativity I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks are now locked into this piece – so I feel quite cleansed, refreshed…

Alas, my loves, I’m off to go put together the last details of the planning stages for editing and whatnot – I’ll make sure to post the final product as soon as it’s complete.

For now, I’ll leave you with my latest crush, Kid Cudi [holy shit.] and this:

<3.

can you tell me how to get…

Late night greetings!

I want to wish one of the best shows to ever grace television – Sesame Street – a very very golden 40 year anniversary today!

This show has been a staple in my family from its very beginnings. All 6 of of us kids [ages ranging from early twenties to mid forties] grew up watching Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Oscar and the gang mix it up down on the street.

I fully intend on purchasing the DVDs one day.

I found this hilarious article that was released in conjunction with the anniversary that talks about where preschool mentality and learning capabilities are now…

[the verdict?]

Vintage Sesame Street doesn’t make the cut for today’s average rugrat. Which I think is tragic.

 

Anyways, tonight’s post was brought to you by the letter S and the number 40. With that said – enjoy the nostalgia to follow, and have a groovy evening.

LOVE.

i <3 the internets [part deux].

Hello lovelies :)

This is Karen!

I just came across something rather rad. My loc’d bloggerbuddy Karen has featured me today on her blog, Naturally Beautiful Hair! I must say I’m extremely flattered and I thank you very, very much for the mention! To NBH readers who are checking my blog out for the first time: Welcome :) I hope you like what you see, and come back soon!

For my readers, I sincerely encourage you all to check out her blog as well. For my loc’d readers, Karen provides tips and related information related to natural hair that are incredibly helpful!

I really love the internets. Dearly. The amount of people you can meet and network with is baffling, and it continues to grow.

Rad.

Click the banner to check Karen out at Naturally Beautiful Hair!

Click Here!

LOVE.